Trying to conceive, in the beginning, carries its own kind of romance. The bond of intimacy and tenderness you feel while planning your future family is a loving and beautiful experience. But when month after month brings no pregnancy the luster of, well, lust, wears thin. Infertility takes a toll on intimacy, but it doesn’t have to be that way. With a bit of mindfulness and some outside-of-the-box imagination a spicy sex life is possible even while going through treatment for infertility.
When you’re going through treatment for infertility sex may feel like just another thing on your to-do list. And, depending on your type of treatment, your doctor may advise a schedule for intercourse making intimacy even less spontaneous. Here, we offer some tips to help you, and your partner keep the fires burning even while going through treatment for infertility.
Talk About Sex
Even couples who’ve been together for years feel awkward when talking about sex. But trust us, once the conversation begins flowing your mind turns toward the bedroom.
Communication on every level is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Opening up about sex and conveying your needs is important and so is listening to your partner. You both want the same thing, to grow your family, and you both feel the frustrations of infertility. You’re in this together and communicating about sex helps you support each other during this time.
Connect With Your Body
Treatment for infertility seems like it’s focused on your body, and it is. Discussions about ovarian stimulation, low egg reserve, cervical mucus and uterine lining certainly focus on your body, functionally. But it’s not exactly sexy talk. Try focusing more on your body as it responds sexually. Coach your partner to your erogenous zones. Tell them where and what feels good. And do the same for your partner. Also pay attention to your libido (sexual desire) levels at different points in your cycle. We all know the adverse side effects of hormonal stimulating medications, but these meds also have some surprising side effects libido-wise.
Practice Mindfulness
The dictionary defines mindfulness as the quality or state of being in which one is conscious or aware of something. Mindfulness is a successful tool in therapeutic settings. And mindfulness also helps achieve orgasm. Being aware of your body and your partner’s body during the act of lovemaking comes from focusing on breathing, movement, touching and sounds or words.
It’s easy to do away with foreplay when you’re both so focused on the goal of pregnancy. Bring foreplay back to the forefront and take time for arousal. Build the anticipation.
Change it Up
The best way to bust bedroom boredom? Shake things up! Is sex usually a nighttime activity in your home? Spend a Saturday afternoon between the sheets for something different. Meet at home for a lunchtime encounter or change the venue. You can move to another location in your home or check into a hotel for a night. Some couples find vacation sex exciting, so plan a little getaway.
Sharing fantasies and playing them out is another boredom busting tactic. Even something as simple as trying a new position makes sex seem more exciting.
Celebrate Yourselves
You’re making a commitment to grow your love through building a family. Celebrate that and cherish one another. Plan a date that reminds you of the early times in your relationship when you were feeling the early pangs of love or go off for a romantic weekend somewhere new. Sometimes getting away from everything helps free your mind and your desires.
The journey through infertility treatment is fraught with many different emotions for both partners. Sometimes just holding hands calms those feelings down. Include more sensual activities in your day to day. Touch more frequently, hold one another, caress in passing. Just letting one another know you’re still there for each other keeps the flame burning. You’re about to bring more love into your lives. Celebrate it.
Reach Out to Your Doctor
Even the hottest of sex lives ebbs and flows. Every couple trying to conceive hits a wall sexually even if they aren’t going through infertility treatment. Don’t confuse a stalled engine with relationship issues. Talk to your doctor about ways to ignite your libido. If sex feels more like a chore than an enjoyable encounter, contact LA IVF. Our caring and compassionate team understands all the ins and outs of infertility and intimacy. We’re here for you.