Losing a pregnancy is devastating to the parent or parents to be. If you’ve been through it once you understand the sadness and emptiness that accompanies a miscarriage. But when you’ve experienced two or more miscarriages the hopelessness that accompanies the devastation and heartbreak is almost unbearable.
About 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Second miscarriages occur in about 2% of females after conceiving again. About .05% of females experience a third consecutive miscarriage which indicates a possible reproductive problem. After a third consecutive miscarriage, your doctor recommends a full medical workup.
Whatever the results of your exam it’s a lot to endure recurrent pregnancy loss. The heartbreak and painful emotions that surround miscarriage multiply with each loss that ensues. It may feel impossible to cope, but we are here to help. Here we offer our advice and some tips to help as you journey through recurrent pregnancy loss.
Common Causes of Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
The gut-wrenching emotional fallout that comes with each miscarriage also brings a slew of questions and possibly self-blame. But there is no reason to blame yourself. The most common causes of recurrent pregnancy loss are genetic issues or chromosomal abnormalities, and you don’t control that.
In some other cases the cause may be a structural one, such as an abnormally shaped uterus, fibroids, polyps or scar tissue that prevents the embryo from developing normally. Some hormonal imbalances contribute to recurrent miscarriage as does endometriosis in some cases.
Once you have answers as to the reason behind your recurrent pregnancy loss you and your doctor may determine the best next course of action. Sometimes that means surgery or medication or assisted reproductive technology such as IVF with PGT (preimplantation genetic testing).
Dealing With the Emotions of Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage is always a source of complex emotions. Disbelief, sadness, anger and all the grief stages typically accompany loss of a pregnancy. When consecutive miscarriages occur, those feelings become compounded and people tend toward feelings of detachment, isolation, guilt and even blame. Each of these emotions is difficult but when they combine it’s downright overwhelming and takes a tremendous toll on your wellbeing. Here, we offer ways to cope with recurrent pregnancy loss.
Seek Support
When you seek support, it may come from different sources. A dear friend or family member who lets you scream, cry or work through your emotions as you need is beneficial. Remember your emotions may be all over the map and may be contradictory at times. Make sure your friend or family member is aware and won’t judge you.
A support group is another way to find help coping with your loss. Either online or in-person support groups offer an opportunity to talk with others who understand what you’re going through. This makes a huge difference in your feelings of isolation and loneliness. One word of caution: if the group causes you more anxiety step back for a while.
Sometimes the support you need most is professional counseling. This is a heavy load to carry on your own. Find a mental health professional who deals in matters surrounding pregnancy and loss. With a mental health professional, you can release your emotions in a safe place, free from judgement. Ask your physician’s office for a referral.
Take Care of You
Grief and stress take a toll on your physical wellbeing as well as the emotional side of wellness. Make sure you are getting enough of the right foods. The emotions that accompany recurrent pregnancy loss often interfere with your appetite. Try eating a little bit every few hours if you can. Talk to your doctor if this becomes difficult.
It’s a recognized fact that the emotions of grief interfere with sleep. You may find yourself awake all night and sleepy in the mid-afternoon. Maintain a regular bedtime but allow yourself some grace. If you’re tired, take a nap. If you find, however, that you are sleeping all the time depression could be behind that and you need to discuss this with your doctor.
Don’t push yourself too hard. If your employer allows you time off, please take it. If not and you find you need some time away, please speak with your employer or your HR department and find out if you’re allowed any sick days or medical leave time.
Exercise, when your doctor says it’s ok, helps you deal with your emotions. Even something as simple as a 20-minute walk out in nature does much to alleviate the emotional bleakness you may feel. Physical activity in general helps when it comes to restoring healthy eating and sleeping habits.
Seek Answers
Uncertainty makes many feel helpless, and some individuals find the more they know the better they cope. If you find knowledge is power, you need to deal with intense emotions such as those surrounding recurrent pregnancy loss talk to your doctor. Once you have answers you may feel more in control.
Have you experienced consecutive miscarriages? We would like to help. Please reach out to the caring and compassionate professionals at LA IVF and let us help you. We offer a way to cope as you journey through these impossible losses and together, we’ll find the answers. Contact LA IVF today.
