When you’re in the midst of your IVF cycle, the medication-fueled mood swings, daily injections and seemingly endless appointments, poking, prodding and laser focus on a successful cycle takes center stage. Not surprisingly the spontaneity of romance is set aside, and some couples feel the stress of the endeavor. Of course, the outcome is worth the rocky road it takes to get there.
But how do you keep your relationship strong and weather the ups and downs together? Here, we offer seven tips for couples preparing for IVF together. So, take a deep breath and get ready to prepare for the journey of a lifetime-together.
Prepare Together with These 7 Tips
A 2018, study published by the NIH showed a diagnosis of infertility may lead to depression on the same level as that experienced by cancer patients. Further review showed those going through IVF suffer anxiety and depression in greater numbers. Couples experience a good deal of relationship turmoil during these times. Often because they aren’t prepared for what’s to come. Here, we offer seven practical and helpful tips for you and your partner in preparation for your IVF cycle.
1. Get on The Same (Realistic) Page
Although IVF offers many couples the greatest opportunity to overcome their infertility it isn’t always successful on the first cycle. It’s important to prepare for your IVF journey with realistic expectations. Successful IVF can be and often is a long process. Fatigue, stress and disappointment is a real and common part of assisted reproductive technology. Take steps to guard yourselves against the toll these feelings take.
2. Set Your Budget
A cording to credit expert Experian a whopping 73% of couples in committed relationships experience money-related tension that poses a threat to their relationship. The investment you make in IVF is most certainly a sizable one, especially if you require more than one cycle for success. Get to a budget you both agree on before embarking on your IVF journey. Discuss the costs and options with your fertility team and anticipate unexpected costs may arise.
3. Discuss “What If” Scenarios
Each diagnosis of infertility is different and how you approach IVF may not be the same as anyone else’s. In some cases, donor sperm or egg is medically necessary. You should prepare yourselves by deciding whether you want an anonymous donor or someone you know. Is a biological connection necessary? Prepare together in case the situation arises.
Other factors you and your partner must consider; do you want preimplantation genetic testing? Will you freeze any additional embryos for future use? You can’t anticipate everything that comes up, but you can make sure you’re both on the same page should questions arise.
4. Who Needs to Know
Having a solid support network of friends and family is immensely helpful when going through IVF. But it’s extremely important that you decide exactly who you want to share your news with. Is your best friend apt to require constant updates? Are both families the type who support you without causing stress? IVF is draining and if you have disappointing news, it only rehashes your despair when you share with a large circle. Choose your support system wisely and consider each other’s feelings first.
5. Schedule Time for Communication Sessions
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Often, in times of stress it’s the glue that holds couples together. But between busy work schedules and appointments with your doctor it’s hard to have those one-on-one discussions. Schedule a “check-in” short session each day. Set aside your phones and devices and turn off the TV. Respect what your partner says and, above all, listen to each other.
6. You Will Approach Things Differently
Not only is every diagnosis of infertility different, but each person handles things differently. Just because you and your partner go through the journey together doesn’t mean you see things the same way. And even though you both carry the emotional load together the physical burden usually falls to just one of you.
With that in mind realize that each of you handles things your own way. The one who carries the pregnancy also deals with the hormonal side effects that come from the medication. Physical discomfort and emotional mood swings certainly are not fun. The non-carrier partner should recognize these side effects as just that. Do what you can to comfort your partner and don’t take it personally.
Recognize that some people process their experience by discussing it much more openly and others don’t. Never assume your partner is uncaring or detached just because they don’t discuss the journey. Coping skills vary.
The daily “check-in” sessions become crucial at this point.
7. Make Time for Romance
It’s easy to lose the romance amidst your IVF journeys. While there will be times your doctor advises you to abstain from sex, there’s still time for fun in the bedroom. Don’t lose the romance amidst all the schedules. Make time for a date night and put fertility talk on hold, just for the night. Remember what made you fall in love in the first place.
Together On the Journey
You and your partner rely on your bond to keep you strong when life shakes things up. Don’t risk that bond by not preparing for your next journey. For more information, please contact LA IVF. We’ll answer any questions you may have and help you prepare for the adventure ahead.