Talking about infertility with your partner is a difficult conversation. But to move forward on your path to parenthood, you must do just that. And once the conversation starts, you and your partner can better understand one another and how you both feel about the journey ahead. Because it is such a difficult conversation for many people, let us offer some tips about how to talk to your partner about infertility and treatment options.
First, Realize You Are On This Journey Together
In any relationship, feeling free to open up about your feelings is crucial. That applies to both partners. After all, when it comes to conceiving a child, you are both necessary to the task. Appreciate your partner’s views, opinions, and concerns when talking about infertility and treatment options. You’re in this together.
Initiate The Conversation
You know your partner best. When you initiate the conversation, let them speak about their feelings in their own capacity. Meet them where they are right now. They may be angry, sad, shocked, and riding the same emotional rollercoaster you’re on, but ultimately, they must deal with their feelings as they see fit.
Once those emotions settle a bit, move on from there. Don’t blind them with science or pile too much information on them at once. Consult with a fertility specialist. Although you may feel there is a clock ticking somewhere, allow your partner some time to absorb all that’s happening.
Try to Focus Only on The Facts
Infertility is a sensitive and emotional subject, and truths are easily distorted in a way that makes them unfair or misleading. Remember, no one partner is to blame for your inability to conceive naturally. Don’t allow feelings of blame or guilt to overshadow this very important conversation. Stick to the facts.
Discussing your treatment options is always best done with your doctor. They understand your diagnosis and know which treatment options are the most successful as applied to your unique situation. Once you’ve heard what your doctor thinks, you may go home and talk about it together in private.
And now that you know the facts and treatment options your doctor offers, do some research on your own. Look at the information on our website, including blog posts, and visit resolve.org, an excellent organization for those dealing with infertility.
Discuss Your Treatment Options When You Are Both Ready
Some couples jump right into treatment, and others hold back for a time, researching, asking questions, and talking with other couples who’ve experienced infertility. Whatever your style, proceed together on the same page. Research together, talk to your doctor, and consider things like success rates and costs. Involve your partner in all aspects of the treatment and always consider their feelings or concerns before moving forward.
Provide Support for Your Partner
In every healthy and strong relationship, supporting one another is a given. Whatever the diagnosis for your infertility, be the supportive and empathetic support your partner needs, and communicate your needs to your partner. Here’s what that looks like:
- Listen: Infertility is a challenge, and the feelings surrounding diagnosis and treatment often overwhelm those involved. Offer your partner a safe place in which to share their feelings.
- Be Compassionate: A diagnosis of infertility impacts both of you. But each partner may have a different reaction. Strive for understanding and compassion as you face this journey together.
- Be Patient: If you’re ready to discuss treatment options and your partner isn’t, try to be patient with them. They are coming to terms in their own way. Let them. Once you begin your journey, you’ll face even more challenges. Being patient and gentle with each other now helps you on the road ahead.
- Seek Help: If you feel the communication is becoming stressful, emotions are getting in the way, or you’re struggling in your relationship, please seek counseling. Your fertility clinic can recommend a qualified counselor who deals with infertility. Your counselor provides tools that help you now and as you explore and pursue treatment options.
Face The Future Together
For many couples, discussing infertility is difficult. Through open, honest, and clear communication, you can get past the intense emotions and awkward feelings to face the future hand-in-hand. Talking to your partner about infertility and treatment options opens the door for greater intimacy, better communication, and trust. These are the keys to a healthy relationship, no matter what you face as a couple.
Please schedule a consultation with LA IVF for more information on infertility and your options.
